Talk:Day 4 - Scene 1 - Rewrite 1/@comment-31.51.112.208-20150210063247

Hi, I just read this via your MS link.

Here are some random thoughts about it on a first reading: It's a very comedic piece. I think I preferred your original version in some ways where Enar wakes up drunk and looks for his clothes. I liked the detail here with the night squirrel. Enar seems to have cut his hand but you don't mention that again, not even when he wakes up in pain. I wonder whether you should tell us he has a hangover at the beginning as you convey the drunk, hungover feeling very well later in the writing.

Overall, I like your comedic style of writing and look forward to reading more of your book.

R